10 SIMPLE STEPS TO BECOME A BETTER WIFE

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like your husband is doing EVERYTHING wrong?

Maybe he didn’t react the way you wanted him to when you told him the gossip about your friends or family drama. Maybe you felt like he didn’t kiss you like he meant it when he walked in the door from work. Maybe he didn’t do the dishes exactly how you wanted him to. And of course – maybe he didn’t tell you how AMAZING you looked in your new outfit that you just bought.

I have had days like these. I think as wives, we all have. And if you haven’t had a day like this – it is probably coming. Sometimes as women, we know exactly how we want our husbands to be or react in certain situations. But guess what? Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Men think a lot differently than women and what might be SUPER important to you, may be the LAST thing on his mind.

Often times in marriage, we find our comfort zones. The wife does her thing – the husband does his thing – and everything is fine. BUT – what if you feel like your marriage needs a little spice? What if you feel like your love needs to be rekindled? What if you need something to change because he just isn’t acting exactly the way you want him to?

When this happens, we tend to make a long list of things HE needs to fix. In fact, sometimes the list comes easy. “I want him to compliment me more.” “I want him to kiss me and mean it.” “I want him to say I love you sweeter.”

There is a quote – “If you want something to change, YOU have to do something different.” Notice the word – YOU. It isn’t if you want something to change, SOMEONE ELSE has to do something different or your HUSBAND has to do something different. If YOU want change – YOU be the change.

Many times we want our spouse to change, to make our marriage better. But – It isn’t always up to the men to change. Sometimes the change needs to come from us – the women! 

Here are 10 Simple Steps To Become A Better Wife – to help your marriage grow stronger and for you to see that change you are needing.

1. SET YOUR PRIORITIES: And set them correctly. Above all, your husband should be your number one priority. Our lives are super busy as women, but make sure you set some time every single day to spend with your man.

2. BE INTERESTED IN HIS INTERESTS: Make a list of things that you know he LOVES to do and jump in it with him. If he likes to play basketball – go shoot some hoops with him. If he likes to work out – go to the gym or go on a run with him. He will LOVE that you love what he loves.

3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: In order to take care of another person {your husband}, you MUST take care of yourself. Set goals for yourself. Take a shower or warm bath. Eat healthy and exercise. Do something that makes you laugh every single day. When we take care of ourselves, we are happier, which in return reflects on how we treat our men.

4. SHOW APPRECIATION: You will be surprised how much of a change can come, by just saying “thank you.” Show him that you appreciate what he does on a daily basis. Show him that you are grateful that he works hard to provide for your family. Let him know that you are proud of him for everything he does.

5. PLAN A ROMANTIC SURPRISE: Get a babysitter and surprise him! Make sure the romance doesn’t die in your relationship. Everyone loves to feel loved. Show him that by taking him on a romantic evening, just the two of you.

6. LET HIM HAVE “GUY TIME” : Sometimes guys just need to be GUYS! They need to play those video games and get their workout on. They need to hang with the buddies and go play sports. If we are too controlling and don’t let them have their “them” time – they will be unhappy. Use that time for yourself too! While he does his guy thing, you go do a girl thing! That is a great time to do something you love too – it is a win win!

7. TELL HIM HIS STRENGTHS: Every guys wants to be complimented. Tell him what he is good at and how great he looks. Boost his little ego some more – that’s what a wife is for!

8. BE HIS TROPHY WIFE: Look good for him! This is another thing we tend to get “comfortable” with – our appearance. I am not saying you have to look flawless and fancy when he walks in the door every day. By all means – sometimes I look a LITTLE homeless by the time he comes home.  But dress up when you go out. Touch up your make-up and look presentable for him every now and then, when he walks in the door. Make him feel PROUD that YOU are his wife and that he gets to come home to you every day.

9. PRAY FOR HIM: A couple that prays together, stays together. Take a few moments every day and pray for him. You can pray for him quietly in your heart or out loud as a couple so he can hear you. He will love to hear your concern for him and that you truly want to be the best wife for him.

10. BE HAPPY: When he walks in the door tonight, have a smile on your face. Instead of having a laundry list of things for him to do – be happy and positive. Nobody wants to come home to someone who is miserable – be enthusiastic and make him smile EVERY day.

10 ways to save on your birth control

Some brands of the Pill can cost as much as $50 a month. What if you could throw that $600 into something way more fun this year?

A recent survey of more than a thousand women by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found that many women are doing just that: Of those who switched their birth-control method in the past year, 14 percent did so in order to save cash.

Here’s how to save your dough.

Go Generic
Ask your doctor or pharmacist for a generic version of the Pill, or do some research by looking at an online drugstore. Generic drugs are much cheaper than their brand-name counterparts, and they have the same rate of efficacy.

For example, the price of Ortho Tri-Cyclen is $41.99 on the Walgreens website, but its generic equivalents, TriNessa and Sprintec, cost only $27.99—nearly 30 percent less.

“Generic drugs have the same makeup as brand-name drugs,” says Nancy Cossler, M.D., an ob-gyn at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio. “They’re all the same, so there’s no reason not to go generic.”

Be Straight with Your Doctor
Talk to your doc about your financial constraints. She’ll make sure to prescribe you a pill that has a generic version or talk to you about other cost-effective methods. Also, your doctor might have free samples available, but be warned: According to Cossler, drug companies only manufacture samples of brand-name pills like Yaz to fool you into getting a prescription for the expensive stuff once you do sign on. Make sure that when your doctor writes you a script, it’s for the generic version.

Bargain Shop
You scour supermarkets for the cheapest shampoo and the best deal on laundry detergent, so why shouldn’t you look for a bargain when filling your prescription? Call around and research your pill online to price your drug at the big pharmacies. Bonus: Walgreens, Walmart, CVS, and most of the others have prescription savings clubs. You can get a 90-day supply of the drug for $12 on some of the plans.

“There could be a very large variation in that cost, especially if you’re not on insurance. The variation can be as much as $100 a month from pharmacy to pharmacy,” says Scott Chudnoff, M.D., a gynecologist at Montefiore Centennial Women’s Center in the Bronx, New York.

Stick with Condoms
If you’re really pinching pennies, talk to your doctor about going off the Pill and protecting yourself with condoms. “If you’re not in a serious relationship and you’re going to have sex fewer than 10 times a month, it might be cheapest to go with condoms,” says Chudnoff.

Plus, since the Pill doesn’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections, you’ll want to use a condom anyway if you’re not in a monogamous relationship.

Make a Long-Term Investment
It’s a lot of cash up front, but the IUD is considered the cheapest form of birth control because it lasts the longest. Mirena (the hormonal type of IUD) lasts three to five years, and the copper IUD can last up to 10 years.

“From a purely financial point of view, the IUD is the best option,” says Chudnoff. “You can get one in the $300 to $400 range—and you might even be able to get it cheaper from different family-planning clinics, like Planned Parenthood.”

If you figure the average pack of pills costs around $10 a month, by the third year of your IUD, the cost has already balanced out.

Go Mail Order
Ask if your company has a long-term prescription plan, which allows you to mail order a 90-day supply of the pill for a lower co-pay. It also cuts down on trips to the pharmacy.

Ask for a Three-Month Prescription
Instead of going to your pharmacist and paying for a refill every month, see if your doctor will write you a prescription for three months at a time. “If your doctor will give you a three-month prescription, you might get away with paying only a single co-pay for it,” says Chudnoff.

Get Your Pills from Planned Parenthood
Planned Parenthood’s prices may be cheaper than the pharmacy’s--and you may even be able to get birth control for free. Check with them or a local family-planning service in your area.

Use Pretax Dollars for Birth Control
If you know you’ll be spending a given amount every year on your pills, and you have the option available with your company, put aside that amount in a health savings account so it is paid with pretax money.

Keys to a Happy Marriage

A happy marriage can be a bit hard to find. However, it doesn't have to be that way. There are many ways to make sure you remain as much in love with your spouse as when you first got married. Here are just a few suggestions:

1) Spend private time together. Make a date at least once a week to do something as a couple. Take a walk, play a game of cards, see a movie or go to the zoo. Just spend time with just the two of you, and get to know each other all over again.

2) Spend time apart. Taking time for yourself to do the things that interest you will make you happier and more fulfilled, therefore making you easier to live with and more interesting to your spouse.

3) Be spontaneous. The detours you take in life can bring fun, excitement and adventure, and are easy to implement. For example, skip church once in a while, and sleep in. Going to the zoo, but see a beach on the way? Stop and take a romantic walk together. Try to do at least one spontaneous activity together per week, and you'll be amazed at the new life your marriage has.
4) Have a journal in a prominent place. Write each other love notes about anything, including what you love about each other, memories of your first date, or a thank-you for completed chores or tasks.

5) Don't fight in front of other people. It embarrasses you both and undermines your relationship. It also may prevent you from being completely honest. If issues come up while company is present, either go into a separate room to talk, or agree to discuss the issues later.

6) Touch. Remember in the early stages of your relationship when you couldn't keep your hands off of one another? Do that again, and marvel at how good it feels.

7) Listen. Talk to one another about everything and nothing. Ask about your spouse's day, and listen to the answers. Ask how your spouse feels, and tell him/her how you feel. Respect each other's comments. Make sure you understand what is being said by clarifying statements.

8) Don't insult or make fun of your spouse's relatives or friends. Even if it's just in fun, these comments can hurt your spouse and your relationship.

9) Don't go to bed angry. Although there may be times when sleep is more important than making up, try to go to bed on a good note by saying something like, "I'm still angry about this issue, but I'm tired and want to go to sleep. I'd like to talk about this later. I still love you. I will always love you, and I'm glad we are married."

10) Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. For example, if he is late getting home, assume that he is stuck in traffic and cannot get to a phone, not that he is merely being inconsiderate.
11) Remember the big picture. If your spouse irritates you, think, "Is this going to matter in a few hours? Do I really want to make a major issue out of this, or is this something I can live with?"

10 Little Ways To Show Your Husband You Care

Before I even start the list, I will state the obvious; every woman already knows what to do to make her husband happy, at least for a short time. I am including it just so the men don’t feel cheated or think that I don’t understand what they really, really want. Make his favorite dinner occasionally. Bring him a beer when he’s watching the game. Take off your clothes. Anytime is fine.

1. Let him know you are his biggest fan. Tell him how great he is, how much you appreciate the little things he does to help you (no matter how small), and how much he’s loved. I am not suggesting you lie. If you are not his biggest fan, you should be!

2. It is best to avoid asking questions such as “What are you thinking about, honey?” Men hate this because they know they will get themselves into trouble if they tell you what they were really thinking. Or they can't remember.

3. Always speak highly of him to others. Don’t call up your best friend to tell her about his latest stupid mistake.

4. Don’t cut him down. It may be tempting to tell him exactly what you think of him during an argument, but hold your tongue. Deep down, somewhere, you love this man, and shredding him to bits will only make the situation worse. Don’t remind him of his weaknesses at every opportunity. Most men are fully aware of their weaknesses and do not need reminding.

5. Be quick to apologize for snapping at him when you are tired and cranky.

6. Listen to what he has to say. This may include topics that you neither understand nor care to be enlightened about, such as the rules of fantasy football or a comparison of programming codes.

7. Although it is widely believed that men are dogs, don’t treat him like one. Don’t attempt to keep him on a short leash, or even long chain. I know the idea of a shock collar (as used in dog training) is appealing, but really, he’s a big boy now.

8. Appreciate who he is and don’t try to change him. You knew who he was when you married him. Trying to make him into something different is: A. a waste of your time because it will not work and B. just annoying. He was flawless in your eyes when you first met. Is he really not good enough now? I know, you have grown and changed and expanded. Let him appreciate you, but stay the same.

9. Encourage his hobbies, even if you aren’t fond of them. My husband loves motorcycles. People are always saying things like “I can’t believe your wife let you have a bike” and “How could you let him do that?” Let him? That’s not how it is supposed to work. He is my husband, not my child. Yes, I worry. I ask him call to check in. I also love to see the smile on his face when returns safely from a nice long ride.

10. Don’t make fun of his team, even if they always lose. It is likely that your husband has been programmed since birth to be a fan of a particular sports team. This rule additionally applies to Star Trek and Star Wars fans. If your husband is still a fan of the band KISS, then you have permission to go wild with abuse

Miscarriage Prevention

For the past ten years I never needled the abdomen of a pregnant woman for fear of causing miscarriage. This method of behavior stems in part from fear of over-stimulating blood flow to the embryo or placenta. This thinking, as I have recently discovered, is incorrect. It has taken me ten years of study and research to enable me to fully understand what is happening in the uterus after a successful pregnancy and why abdominal acupuncture for the first three months of pregnancy is not only safe but serves significantly to prevent miscarriage.

At the luteal phase or secretory phase of the menstrual cycle the predominant hormone is progesterone. Progesterone is created from the follicle that has ovulated the mature egg. This follicle is now known as the 'yellow body' or corpus lutuem. The corpus luteum, under the influence of luteinizing hormone which emanates from the anterior pituitary in the brain secretes progesterone. This action is done to enable the uterine lining to be amenable to a successful embryo implantation and pregnancy. If pregnancy is not successful, the corpus luteum becomes atretic (dies) and progesterone levels diminish and menstruation starts.

When a woman does successfully become pregnant, the LH which is required to maintain high levels of progesterone (P) no longer comes from the anterior pituitary gland in the brain. It comes in fact, from the developing blastocyst itself. The blastocyst (developing baby), secretes HCG or Human Chorionic Gonadotropin which has a very similar molecular structure to LH. The HCG causes the corpus luteum to continue to secrete P (this is called corpus luteum- rescue), until the placenta is fully formed at which point the placenta itself secretes appropriate amounts of P to help maintain pregnancy.

So, if the developing blastocyst is responsible for secreting HCG to keep itself alive it made sense to me to use very few and well placed needles in the abdomen to gently stimulate blood flow to the blastocyst so that P would continue to be secreted from the corpus luteum.

This, in my opinion is one of the major ways that miscarriage prevention can be achieved with acupuncture. I am the first one to arrive at this idea and have been using it with great success.

After 6 or 7 weeks the placenta is formed and it secretes P. The corpus luteum is no longer necessary. But, one of the major causes of miscarriage is inappropriate blood flow to the placenta. One of the causes of this is due to thrombophilic disorders (The tendency to form blood clots). But clinically what does this mean? Blood carries oxygen, hormones and nutrients to the placenta and excretes dead cells from it.
These dead cells are called 'debris'. By continuing to use abdominal acupuncture, we continue to gently stimulate blood flow to the placenta (reducing the effects of poor hemodynamics which can occur due to thrombophilic disorder or just poor circulation), maintaining its ability to secrete P, estrogen, human placental-lactogen, relaxin and other hormones necessary for the maintenance of a healthy pregnancy.

I am constantly studying Western reproductive medicine and translating my findings into a Chinese medical model which serves to increase a useful knowledge-base to help couples achieve pregnancy. However, achieving pregnancy is only half the battle. The other half is maintaining a healthy pregnancy. The focus of many acupuncturists is to help their patients become pregnant. This too is my first goal, but only my first. My second goal is to maintain a viable pregnancy and this is where my research and studies are now taking me.

I am pleased to say that at this point our successful pregnancy cases are remaining in the 30 to 40 of miscarriages occur within the first trimester.