RETAINING THE ROMANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

It’s the intent of many people to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship. One of the keys to a sustainable relationship is maintaining the mutual satisfaction of both partners and that can mean taking steps to ensure that the romance stays alive for the long haul. Here are a few fun and easy tips so that you and your partner keep the desire alive and go the distance.

As we hinted at in the previous entry, sexting can be a great way to keep a little bit of spark in your relationship when you don’t have the time to be with your partner as much as you’d like. A study on the sexting habits of US adults found that 56 percent of those surveyed said that the activity improved their relationships. Some sex and relationship experts are supporters of titillating texting and cite it as a fun and exciting way to maintain interest between partners until the time is right.

Keep Trying New Things

It’s no secret that sometimes you have to try something new to keep from falling into a romantic rut. However, an article on reigniting the spark in your relationship explains that something new doesn’t necessarily mean something ridiculous. According to the writer (she’s an assistant professor of psychology at Villanova), simply taking the the time to change things up a bit helps to “expand the ways that you think about yourself and your relationship.” Start small and try something simple that’s still outside of both of your comfort zones. This could be trying a new food together, starting a project you can both work on or beginning a fitness plan. Anything that can get you out of your set schedule can go a long way to keeping your relationship feeling fresh.

THE BEST ADVICE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

1. NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE A TEAM: The moment you say “I DO” – you are promising to be a team! Not a, “You do 50% and I will put in my 50%” kind of team – it is a 100% from him and a 100% from you, kind of team. Team mates work together. They support each other. They compliment each other. They help each other feel good about themselves. In a team, one is not over the other – they are equal.

2. HIS FAMILY IS NOW YOUR FAMILY: When you get married, two families unite. Make a list of your favorite things about your family and your favorite things about his family – and make your own family! Make sure you spend time with his family and try to form relationships with his parents and siblings. You are one of “them” now – so find your role and play your part.

3. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES: You will make mistakes. Your husband will make mistakes. We are human and we aren’t perfect. Know though, that even if he makes a mistake – it isn’t the end of the world. Just like every other guy on the planet, he isn’t perfect… and that is okay! In fact, maybe it was his imperfections that made you fall in love with him in the first place. “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.”

4. FORGIVENESS IS KEY: So… about those mistakes and imperfections – how do we get over them? Forgiveness. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but forgiveness is vital in a marriage. In order to continue progressing together and falling more in love – you must communicate and forgive. Let him know that something is bothering you, talk about it and find a solution. We have learned it is better to just get it off our chests when it happens, rather than keep it in and hold a grudge.

5. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES: If the cap is always off the toothpaste… should you say something? If the toilet paper roll is never replaced… should you say something? If the dishes aren’t done EXACTLY how you would like them to be done… should you say something? I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging it, but be careful how you word it. I actually learned this the hard way.

I love doing the dishes and I like them to be done a specific way… but one day my husband came up ahead of me and did them. Instead of thanking him, I got upset because they weren’t done how I would like them to be done. Dumbest mistake EVER!! That was so nice of him to help – and what a SILLY thing for me to get upset about. Before you bite his head off, think about if it is REALLY worth it.

6. LAUGHING IS CONTAGIOUS: It is so important in marriage to have FUN! You HAVE to laugh. You HAVE to. It isn’t even a question. A couple that laughs together, stays together! Don’t take things too seriously.

We have a family motto. We actually made it up right when we got married and it is “DBD.” Can anyone guess what that might stand for? It means: DON’T BE DUMB. Not in a mean way – but like, don’t be dumb and get upset over silly things. And don’t be dumb and make bad choices. And don’t be dumb and say mean things. This motto has helped us and we even have it on our entertainment center so we can see it every day.

Don’t forget to have FUN! Don’t forget to date. Don’t forget to play and take some time just for the two of you. Don’t forget to smile. Don’t forget to make each other laugh.

7. CHANGES WILL COME: In my article, The Changes A Baby Brings, you can read all about what kinds of changes I am talking about here. BUT – a baby isn’t the only thing that can bring a change in your marriage. You may move. You may find a new job. You may pick up a new hobby. You may meet new friends. We all change – and that is a good thing. We should always be progressing and becoming better individuals, but I would like to emphasize that these changes and growing matters – should be together as a couple. You should grow together….as a team.

Set goals as a family and work to achieve them. We always love having a little project that we work on together. We find it brings us closer together as we do our parts in achieving our accomplishments. Your love will grow stronger as you spend time together work 

8. WORDS HURT TOO: You know the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I am here to say…. that words do hurt. In fact, when they come from a spouse, your very best friend, your eternal companion – they hurt even worse. Think before you speak.

My mom always reminded me growing up, “Kindness begins with me.” As a married woman now, I always try to remember that. Let us be kind to our spouses. Let us say uplifting and positive things to each other.

9. BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: We always used the phrase, “BFF” growing up – and you can actually really be BFF {Best Friends Forever} with your spouse! I have 10 Ways To Stay Best Friends With Your Husband here that might give you some guidelines.

I remember on my Honeymoon – I had a little “wife moment.” I looked at my new husband and just stared at him {he thought I was crazy}! It hit me at a random second, while driving along the shore in Maui that I was on vacation, alone, with my HUSBAND! It was just me and him! There was nobody else on this earth that I would have rather been with at that moment. We should always remember that. You marry your best friend and he should stay your best friend.

10. NEVER GIVE UP: Last, but certainly not least is to NEVER give up. Not on him. Not on you. Not on your marriage. When hard times come {and they will!} stay close together through spending time together, praying together, laughing together, forgiving together and just BEING together.

Think about what is most important in your life – it is probably your family, yes? Make sure they are your priority and never give up on them. I love the quote by Thomas S. Monson, “What is most important almost always involves the people around us.”

I know that life isn’t perfect and hard times will come. BUT I do know that love can last, if we focus on what matters most.

ing on something you both want to be successful at.

 

10 SIMPLE STEPS TO BECOME A BETTER WIFE

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like your husband is doing EVERYTHING wrong?

Maybe he didn’t react the way you wanted him to when you told him the gossip about your friends or family drama. Maybe you felt like he didn’t kiss you like he meant it when he walked in the door from work. Maybe he didn’t do the dishes exactly how you wanted him to. And of course – maybe he didn’t tell you how AMAZING you looked in your new outfit that you just bought.

I have had days like these. I think as wives, we all have. And if you haven’t had a day like this – it is probably coming. Sometimes as women, we know exactly how we want our husbands to be or react in certain situations. But guess what? Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Men think a lot differently than women and what might be SUPER important to you, may be the LAST thing on his mind.

Often times in marriage, we find our comfort zones. The wife does her thing – the husband does his thing – and everything is fine. BUT – what if you feel like your marriage needs a little spice? What if you feel like your love needs to be rekindled? What if you need something to change because he just isn’t acting exactly the way you want him to?

When this happens, we tend to make a long list of things HE needs to fix. In fact, sometimes the list comes easy. “I want him to compliment me more.” “I want him to kiss me and mean it.” “I want him to say I love you sweeter.”

There is a quote – “If you want something to change, YOU have to do something different.” Notice the word – YOU. It isn’t if you want something to change, SOMEONE ELSE has to do something different or your HUSBAND has to do something different. If YOU want change – YOU be the change.

Many times we want our spouse to change, to make our marriage better. But – It isn’t always up to the men to change. Sometimes the change needs to come from us – the women! 

Here are 10 Simple Steps To Become A Better Wife – to help your marriage grow stronger and for you to see that change you are needing.

1. SET YOUR PRIORITIES: And set them correctly. Above all, your husband should be your number one priority. Our lives are super busy as women, but make sure you set some time every single day to spend with your man.

2. BE INTERESTED IN HIS INTERESTS: Make a list of things that you know he LOVES to do and jump in it with him. If he likes to play basketball – go shoot some hoops with him. If he likes to work out – go to the gym or go on a run with him. He will LOVE that you love what he loves.

3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: In order to take care of another person {your husband}, you MUST take care of yourself. Set goals for yourself. Take a shower or warm bath. Eat healthy and exercise. Do something that makes you laugh every single day. When we take care of ourselves, we are happier, which in return reflects on how we treat our men.

4. SHOW APPRECIATION: You will be surprised how much of a change can come, by just saying “thank you.” Show him that you appreciate what he does on a daily basis. Show him that you are grateful that he works hard to provide for your family. Let him know that you are proud of him for everything he does.

5. PLAN A ROMANTIC SURPRISE: Get a babysitter and surprise him! Make sure the romance doesn’t die in your relationship. Everyone loves to feel loved. Show him that by taking him on a romantic evening, just the two of you.

6. LET HIM HAVE “GUY TIME” : Sometimes guys just need to be GUYS! They need to play those video games and get their workout on. They need to hang with the buddies and go play sports. If we are too controlling and don’t let them have their “them” time – they will be unhappy. Use that time for yourself too! While he does his guy thing, you go do a girl thing! That is a great time to do something you love too – it is a win win!

7. TELL HIM HIS STRENGTHS: Every guys wants to be complimented. Tell him what he is good at and how great he looks. Boost his little ego some more – that’s what a wife is for!

8. BE HIS TROPHY WIFE: Look good for him! This is another thing we tend to get “comfortable” with – our appearance. I am not saying you have to look flawless and fancy when he walks in the door every day. By all means – sometimes I look a LITTLE homeless by the time he comes home.  But dress up when you go out. Touch up your make-up and look presentable for him every now and then, when he walks in the door. Make him feel PROUD that YOU are his wife and that he gets to come home to you every day.

9. PRAY FOR HIM: A couple that prays together, stays together. Take a few moments every day and pray for him. You can pray for him quietly in your heart or out loud as a couple so he can hear you. He will love to hear your concern for him and that you truly want to be the best wife for him.

10. BE HAPPY: When he walks in the door tonight, have a smile on your face. Instead of having a laundry list of things for him to do – be happy and positive. Nobody wants to come home to someone who is miserable – be enthusiastic and make him smile EVERY day.

Is Your Husband Unhappy?

Helpful Tips on How to Love Your Husband Again

Although it may be difficult to admit, even to yourself, it may reach a point where you are no longer in love with your husband as you used to. Do you know that you may love your husband yet not be in love with him? Being in such a situation is very challenging. Should you continue living in a marriage where you are not in love, or should you call it off? The answer is that you should do neither.

As the saying goes, where there's a will there's a way. When you would like to rescue your marriage, you will be able to love your husband again. The most important thing is: when your husband is HAPPY you'll be happy as well. The following steps will help you to bring back the sparkle in your eyes and heart.

Take note of his positive qualities

One of the greatest problems that couples experience is being resentful towards each other. It is just not possible to mix love with resentment. And resentment usually starts when you focus on negative aspects.

You should therefore concentrate on his positive qualities if you want to save your marriage from breaking up. Every person has weaknesses. However, you should strive to concentrate on the things you love about your husband if you want to fall in love with him again. Don't start thinking about major feats. Perhaps there are many simple things that you genuinely love about your husband.

Now, go a little further beyond just thinking. Keep talking about these positive aspects when you speak about your husband. Avoid saying anything negative about him. The more you focus on his positive qualities, the closer you will feel towards him.

Consider his responsibilities

Another common source of frustration is when you feel that your husband has started taking you for granted. However, before you start turning negative about his apparent lack of concern, you should look at his responsibilities.

Putting all his responsibilities together may actually be weighing heavily on your husband. He has to look after his job and take care of his family.

When you consider your husband's responsibilities, you may realize that he is genuinely busy and is trying very much to attend to you. However, if you determine that he has the time but is simply not making good use of it, discuss the issue with him tactfully.

In case he has too much on his hands, find ways through which you can support him. As you look for how to make your husband happy and love you deeper, doing this will also draw him closer to you.

These simple steps will definitely help you get husband back

*WARNING*

Your marriage could be failing as you think of ways to talk to your spouse!
Find out ways to assess your failing marriage and take positive steps to resolve your problems and re ignite the passion you once had.