Is Your Husband Unhappy?

Helpful Tips on How to Love Your Husband Again

Although it may be difficult to admit, even to yourself, it may reach a point where you are no longer in love with your husband as you used to. Do you know that you may love your husband yet not be in love with him? Being in such a situation is very challenging. Should you continue living in a marriage where you are not in love, or should you call it off? The answer is that you should do neither.

As the saying goes, where there's a will there's a way. When you would like to rescue your marriage, you will be able to love your husband again. The most important thing is: when your husband is HAPPY you'll be happy as well. The following steps will help you to bring back the sparkle in your eyes and heart.

Take note of his positive qualities

One of the greatest problems that couples experience is being resentful towards each other. It is just not possible to mix love with resentment. And resentment usually starts when you focus on negative aspects.

You should therefore concentrate on his positive qualities if you want to save your marriage from breaking up. Every person has weaknesses. However, you should strive to concentrate on the things you love about your husband if you want to fall in love with him again. Don't start thinking about major feats. Perhaps there are many simple things that you genuinely love about your husband.

Now, go a little further beyond just thinking. Keep talking about these positive aspects when you speak about your husband. Avoid saying anything negative about him. The more you focus on his positive qualities, the closer you will feel towards him.

Consider his responsibilities

Another common source of frustration is when you feel that your husband has started taking you for granted. However, before you start turning negative about his apparent lack of concern, you should look at his responsibilities.

Putting all his responsibilities together may actually be weighing heavily on your husband. He has to look after his job and take care of his family.

When you consider your husband's responsibilities, you may realize that he is genuinely busy and is trying very much to attend to you. However, if you determine that he has the time but is simply not making good use of it, discuss the issue with him tactfully.

In case he has too much on his hands, find ways through which you can support him. As you look for how to make your husband happy and love you deeper, doing this will also draw him closer to you.

These simple steps will definitely help you get husband back

*WARNING*

Your marriage could be failing as you think of ways to talk to your spouse!
Find out ways to assess your failing marriage and take positive steps to resolve your problems and re ignite the passion you once had.

How to be a good Wife to your Husband

Qualities in a good Wife

Every married man wishes to have a good wife. Many people advice the new bride to be a good wife to her husband. But what are the makings of a good or perfect wife? Many women do not know. Many of the qualities of a good wife are already inbuilt in a person and the rest can be developed.

In India the qualities of a good wife or eight noble virtues an ideal wife should have are summed up in the verse from Neethisaram.

"Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha,

Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Pathni".

Here are some of the Qualities a man looks in his wife.

1) Be pleasant: It is said that ‘we need to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated.’ Never be rude to our husband, family and friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how you partner treats you, take a minute to notice how you treat your partner and correct your behavior.

2) Treat your Husband with Respect: If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too. Haven’t we all heard ‘Give respect and take respect’. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby and she never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and to think your thoughts through before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they have been spoken. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.

3) Communicate: Communication is key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband anything then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together.

4) Be Supportive: A husband expects wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her hubby through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that ‘a wife can make a man or break a man’. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him respectfully let him know you don’t agree.

5) Do not nag: No man would like a nagging wife. If you want to get your own way ask him nicely. Many wives think that is the only way to get her husband to do things is by nagging. But the truth is that your nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.

6) Give him his space: As a wife you need to understand you’re your husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.

7) Keep him happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in Bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a Man is a man!

8) Plan Surprises: Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.

9) Express your love and appreciation often: Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he's interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else or give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him very often. Be his ‘little slave’ when he is at home. You can even cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.

10) Honesty, Loyalty and Dedication: A good wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.

11) Prepare yourself: A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance and everyday. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance. A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man may cheat you behind your back.

12) Prepare the House: Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining.

I am sure any man would be happy to get a wife with all these qualities. Have I left anything? Please feel free to add through comments.

13 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy

Okay ladies, we have already talked about what men can do to keep you happynow let's take a look a few things you can do to show respect to your hubby and keep him smiling.

1. After washing your beautiful locks, don't forget to pick up your hair from the shower drain. It may not bother you but he doesn't like untangling your hair from his big toe.

2. Be understanding of his work schedule. An occasional afternoon call to see when he will be home is fine but when you begin to stalk him daily at 5:01, his boss starts waiting for your call.

3. Let him play with his friends. As long as they are not 5'9, single, intelligent, beautiful and looking for a husband. Seriously, guys need guy friends to hang out with and do boy stuff. Your husband will be happier and won't be so impatient when your girlfriends call you during dinner, breakfast, lunch and sex.

4. Speaking of…, don't let yourself go. That doesn't mean you must maintain a certain weight or length of hair for the sake of your marriage, but it is a gesture of love to take pride in your appearance. You may expect the same from him and you both deserve a mate that is clean, showered, shaved and cares about their health.

5. Buy your own razor. Quit sneaking his razor out of his bathroom to shave your legs and underarms then attempt to conceal the offense by drying it off with his face towel so it doesn't get yours dirty and put it back as if you never used it. (Yes, I have personal experience and he always knows!!!)

6. Compliment him, genuinely and often. Let him know how much you appreciate the little and the big things he does for you and the family. Taking out the trash may be part of his "routine," but acknowledging his efforts will keep him motivated to continue.

7. Don't hide the credit card bills. Be honest with him, even if it hurts. It’s better to hear the truth from you than your creditors.

8. Take the initiative to practice random acts of kindness. Don't wait for Valentine's Day or his birthday to buy him a little "love gift" or write him a love letter. Hug him going out the door in the morning and coming back in the door at night. He's going to wonder what you are up to!

9. Don't talk bad about his parents or his siblings. It’s difficult to kiss someone that just called his mother a tarantula and his father an orangutan. Remember that he is an offspring of that union, which would make him a tarangutan and you the tarangutans bride.

10. Treat him like you did when you first started dating. Don't forget simple words such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me."

11. Remember all those bodily functions you tried to keep discreet while you were in the throes of wooing him? Just because you have been married several years and are very comfortable around your beloved doesn't mean you can now blow, snort and pick to your heart's content.

12. Plan a date night to do something he loves, even if you don't. Instead of seeing the latest chick flick, compromise and see an action movie and go to dinner at a place you mutually enjoy. Have a couple of glasses of wine so you can sleep through the car chases.

13. Never go to bed angry. Cliché, yes, but true. A well-rested husband is a happy husband—it’s much better to go to bed next to someone that you can curl up next to, rather than someone you must put pillows in between.

Keys to a Happy Marriage

A happy marriage can be a bit hard to find. However, it doesn't have to be that way. There are many ways to make sure you remain as much in love with your spouse as when you first got married. Here are just a few suggestions:

1) Spend private time together. Make a date at least once a week to do something as a couple. Take a walk, play a game of cards, see a movie or go to the zoo. Just spend time with just the two of you, and get to know each other all over again.

2) Spend time apart. Taking time for yourself to do the things that interest you will make you happier and more fulfilled, therefore making you easier to live with and more interesting to your spouse.

3) Be spontaneous. The detours you take in life can bring fun, excitement and adventure, and are easy to implement. For example, skip church once in a while, and sleep in. Going to the zoo, but see a beach on the way? Stop and take a romantic walk together. Try to do at least one spontaneous activity together per week, and you'll be amazed at the new life your marriage has.
4) Have a journal in a prominent place. Write each other love notes about anything, including what you love about each other, memories of your first date, or a thank-you for completed chores or tasks.

5) Don't fight in front of other people. It embarrasses you both and undermines your relationship. It also may prevent you from being completely honest. If issues come up while company is present, either go into a separate room to talk, or agree to discuss the issues later.

6) Touch. Remember in the early stages of your relationship when you couldn't keep your hands off of one another? Do that again, and marvel at how good it feels.

7) Listen. Talk to one another about everything and nothing. Ask about your spouse's day, and listen to the answers. Ask how your spouse feels, and tell him/her how you feel. Respect each other's comments. Make sure you understand what is being said by clarifying statements.

8) Don't insult or make fun of your spouse's relatives or friends. Even if it's just in fun, these comments can hurt your spouse and your relationship.

9) Don't go to bed angry. Although there may be times when sleep is more important than making up, try to go to bed on a good note by saying something like, "I'm still angry about this issue, but I'm tired and want to go to sleep. I'd like to talk about this later. I still love you. I will always love you, and I'm glad we are married."

10) Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. For example, if he is late getting home, assume that he is stuck in traffic and cannot get to a phone, not that he is merely being inconsiderate.
11) Remember the big picture. If your spouse irritates you, think, "Is this going to matter in a few hours? Do I really want to make a major issue out of this, or is this something I can live with?"

Save Your Marriages!

We all believe that when we stand with our loved ones and say `I do` we will live happily ever after. Sadly, that is very often not the case. Not only is the divorce rate soaring, but the length of marriages is shortening.

A marriage on the rocks doesn`t necessarily have to end up in the divorce courts. With effort from both parties, even the most fragile marriage can not only be saved, but take on a whole new lease of life. The first step is to be honest with each other, if you are unhappy your partner needs to know why. They aren`t psychic, and if they have done something wrong, they need to know what it is before they can fix it.

There maybe no specific thing and it could be an accumulation of events that have left you both in this turmoil. Again, communication is vital. Maybe your friends or relatives` calling in at all times of day and night is really starting to annoy your partner, or vice versa. This is easily solved, you have time with them and time with your partner. Friends and family have been known to ruin many a marriage, don`t let them ruin yours! This is the family home and you all have the right to come home and relax without a barrage of visitors, so resolve this problem before it gets any worse.

If one partner has a drink or drug problem, the other has a big dilemma. Providing the problem doesn`t result in violence of any kind, you can save this marriage. If you love them and want to support them, don`t make yourself into a martyr, you would expect them to do the same if it was you wouldn`t you? If the problem is escalating and the whole family is being badly affected, that`s a whole different ball game, but if this is an occasional weakness that isn`t hurting anyone but them, you can save this marriage.

Infidelity from either side is very hard to deal with, and the reason many of us throw in the towel and start divorce proceedings. There is an old adage `once a cheater, always a cheater`, but before you do anything hear them out. This may open a whole can of worms and you may hear things that you don`t like, but honesty is vital and at least then you can make an informed decision and not rush into something you may later regret.

If there is no specific reason for you considering divorce, again don`t rush into anything. How long have you felt like this? How do you feel when you look at your partner? Sit down and think how you would feel if your partner wasn`t there anymore. Consider all the little things that you used to love about them, do you still love them or are they just infuriating now? Divorce is a very painful and very final experience to go through, and should never be rushed into. By keeping the lines of communication open and discussing things honestly and openly a lot of divorces could be avoided. Inevitably, some marriages will run their course and result in divorce, but if your marriage can be saved, do your best not to become just another statistic.